Wedding Annivesary Present

Another retired  Capt.(an impostor) wanted to make his old wife happy asked her graciously,"Darling,to-morrow is our 20th.Wedding Anniversary,and I want to buy you a nice present.What do you expect from me,dear?".

The elated wife ponder over for a moment then answered,"Darling,You don't have to be lavish,just buy something with diamonds in it will do".

Happily the Capt. went out to purchase the present.He then presented the neatly wrapped package to his dear wife,"Here is the present,Darling".


Seeing the beautifully packet,she happily added," Oh, you Darlin' you shouldn't have brought so big a present,really". On opening she found only a pack of playing cards within.In anger she pointed her fingers at him shouting," You you........BBa.........".


Hastily,the stingy Capt.replied,"But.....Darling you said you wanted something with diamonds in it.This pack of playing cards has plenty of them within".


Thereafter the wife ran after him with a broom and the stupid Capt.has been missing since then.

Wedding Annivesary Present

A retired Capt.Kerk of the Home Guard of the aged was happily tugged in bed with his wife when he was abruptly a waken up by his wife.She appeared angry and in a rough tone asked him,"It is our wedding anniversary today and you have forgotten about it.I insist you buy me a present by to-morrow morning". 

The tired old balled and shorty Capt.replied,"Okay dear,I will give a present to-morrow morning". The Capt.left home very early that morning.

The following morning,his wife on looking out of the window, she saw a package in the post box at their front gate. So,putting on her sleeping gown she hurried down to the post box and happily took the package into her house.

On opening she was astonished to find a new weighing machine within that package.That weighing machine had been missing from her bathroom for several days.

Well,since then the stupid pseudo Capt.Kerk had been missing for the last few days.Missing in action I supposed.

The Birthday Present

One year the Shorty Sgt.Kerk gave his dear mother-in-law a very good present.That was a well placed cemetery plot.

The following year he gave her nothing.

When his wife asked him,"Why?".

He smiled cheekily and replied,"Well,your  dear mother has not used that present I gave her last year". 

Without hesitation his dear wife administered a big slapped on his stupid face and immediately he saw stars.

I Will Loved her More If She be Thirty Years Younger

An old man about aged sixty named Capt.Johnnie Kerk was once heard praying at a Church(FGB)."Oh Lord,Should my present wife be thirty years younger than I am,I would loved her more and be happiest man thereafter.Therefore I earnestly pray to you, Lord kindly grant me that wish".

 He did not stop praying for that but continued daily every morning and evening praying relentlessly begging God to answer his prayer.

However, our God being a kind God and taking account of his sincerity did answered his prayer."Well", the Lord replied him by saying,"Giving you a younger woman does not seem right,not fair to your wife".


"Do anything ,dear Lord,just make her thirty years younger".

The Lord did made the transformation.He made the old man thirty years older,thus making him eighty over years old but his wife remained as she was in her late fifties.

Lord answered his prayer.Yes !!! God did just as requested in  his daily prayers. 

"But Lord",said the  Capt."I refused to grow old".

I Refused To Grow Old

"I  refused to grow old"   yelled this old man named Sgt.Kerk (self appointed)
"I may be balled from my forehead upwards to the back of my head,but that's immaterial for I can hide it with my cap"
"Or else, I can draw two eyes over that patch and wear a black spec over them.Pretending that to be my eyes etc."  I will then cover with  a scarf over the mouth and eyes." 
"Well, with that I can easily hide my aging.My side hair are always dyed black  So I refused to grow old."
"Anyway - all the women I have met loved me because they always smiled whenever I talk".
Otherwise why should hey smiled at me?"

We Are Chinese.............................................................

Some Hong Kong Chinese actors (or Hong Kong Three Stooges) staged this joke. Good or silly you be the judge.

There was a scene where  a supposed to be Japanese soldier pointed a pistol at two of them jokers.The two in fear proudly replied,"Shoot - we are Chinese.Chinese  are not afraid to die".

When the soldier cocked his pistol ready to fire.The two took a step backward in fright.Then the surprised Japanese said," Both of you said that you are not afraid to die?".

Both replied that,"We are Indonesian Chinese".

What a ridiculous thing to say.This joke did not went on well with me.Indonesian Chinese or otherwise were the same Chinese.They definitely portrayed that all overseas Chinese as  different from them.This could only mean there was a line drawn between us.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

One evening,James and wife  were watching television in bed,it was screening," Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?".

Feeling restless he turned to his wife and asked,"Darling,do want to make love?".

"No" came her reply.

Not satisfied with her reply he continued to pester her," Is that final?". 

She then rolled over and answered,"Yes,absolutely yes!!!".

To that the agitated James said,"Then in that case,I would like to call a friend named Susie".

With that a fight between started.